Three Little Pigs With a Twist

If you’ve read my previous fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood, who knows what I’ll do with Three Little Pigs? I love to write, and I enjoy combining my writing with my website’s niche and current issues.

What’s happening in the world right now is worrisome, and sometimes I just want to switch of my phone notifications and the news. During these days we need to stay healthy – and during any time of our lives, not just now – and what better way to mix in healthy, plant-based food with our three little pigs and the big bad wolf?

Let’s see where this tale will take us 😉

On the Road

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, called Willy, Bobby, and Freddy. Willy was still small, but his brothers had now reached maturity and it was time to leave their home. Their mother feared that the farmer would kill them for baby back ribs, so she packed each of them a small knapsack and pushed them out the door.

“Where are we supposed to go?” Bobby asked.

“I’m just a piglet,” Bobby cried.

“You’ll be a cutlet soon if you don’t leave,” his mother admonished.

Freddy, who was the oldest, grabbed his brothers’ tails and pulled them along. Off they went, out into the big, wide, scary world.

“And don’t let the wolf get you!” She called after them. She went back inside, wondering when she would be impregnated again and hoping that it wouldn’t be too soon. She couldn’t save all her piglets from the farmer’s axe.

The three little pigs walked for several hours, but then they were hungry and they took a break. Freddy opened his knapsack and pulled out a big Tupperware. His mother had labeled it. “Vegan Cheese fondue,” he read. Oh nice, she had probably made that herself.

“Yummy!” Willy and Bobby exclaimed, rubbing their little front hoofs in hungry anticipation.

“You got our own knapsacks,” Freddy said, keeping his lunch out of their reach.

Willy dug into his and found another Tupperware filled with cooked beans. Mmmm, he loved beans. Starved, he pulled the lid off and sank his snout into the meal, spattering his brothers with beans and sauce.

Bobby, curious about his lunch, checked his knapsack too, and to his great surprise he found some pizza slices. Nothing like cold pizza! He swallowed his first slice at once.

“Mommy packed our favorite foods,” Willy gushed, beans dripping from his mouth. Bobby nodded excitedly, his nose full of mushrooms and chopped tomato. Freddy had already finished his fondue, and he had cheese hanging from his ears and nose.

Pig’s Tales

“Now, what do we do?” Bobby asked.

Willy belched and said, “Let’s find a house and move in there.”

“We should build a house,” Freddy suggested.

“OK, you build it. You are the eldest,” Willy said, giggling.

Freddy rose and grabbed his knapsack. “I’m going to build my own house, and I will be living by myself. I don’t want my disgusting little brothers with me when I bring my Miss Piggy home.”

He walked off into the forest. Willy and Bobby picked up their things and followed him.

“Wait! Hey, where are you going? Can’t we come with you?”

“You can come, but you’ll build your own houses.”

Willy planned to take a nap after his delicious lunch, and after that he wanted to play. He and Bobby exchanged a look, rolling their eyes at their older brother.

“I’ll build my house of straw,” Willy proposed. “It will be ready in no time, and then I can play.”

“What about the wolf?” Freddy said. “A straw house will be easy to destroy.”

“Don’t you worry about that.”

“I’ll make my house of wood,” Bobby said. “That is stronger.”

“Not strong enough to keep the wolf out,” Freddy warned.

“Oh stop it Freddy. You have to enjoy life a little more. You’re always so serious. You never enjoy any treats.”

“Every time I want a treat, you’ve already eaten it. Only yesterday I opened the fridge to get mommy’s homemade ice cream, and it was gone! Again!” Both Willy and Bobby guiltily avoided his gaze. “I’m going to build my house with bricks. Then, the wolf and even you won’t be able to get in, and I can store my treats for as long as I want without you two bozos stealing them.”

“Bricks? That will take you forever!” Willy cried.

“Come on, Willy,” Bobby said, “Leave him. Let’s go and have some fun. I saw a nice mud pool near the river.”

Building a Shelter

Willy’s straw house was built in twenty minutes. He was proud of himself. It was still early in the day and he already had a place to stay and so much time to play. He ran down the path towards the river and dove into the mud pool. Yoohoo, such fun! Freddy should really lighten up a little. He was such a bore.

Bobby took a little longer. He wished to be safe from the wolf, but he didn’t feel like hauling bricks around and mixing cement. That was no work for pigs. He watched Freddy from afar, and laughed at him. His brother worked too hard. He had to learn to relax. Bobby chopped the wood and piled it up. Then, he placed them upright in the ground and bound them together. See, he didn’ t even need nails.

Freddy always went on about researching online about how to do this or that. Apparently, there were websites for anything you were searching for, even construction. Bobby snorted, wondering who would want to sit at a desk and write so much? Freddy was crazy.

He finished his wooden house in two hours, and went to the river where he found Willy on his back in the mud pool.

“Yeehaah!” Bobby yelled and he jumped into the pool, splashing mud everywhere. Willy laughed out loud, and both brothers spent all afternoon playing in the mud and mocking their brother who hauled bricks and mixed cement until the late evening.

Just after sunset, Willy and Bobby freshened up in the lake, and when they were clean they walked back up the path, to their respective houses.

“Goodnight, Willy.” “‘Night, Bobby.”

Blow the House Down

It was late at night when Willy heard a noise outside. Someone was creeping around the house. Uh oh, had the farmer found them?

“Little piggy,” the wolf said in a honey-sweet voice.

Willy froze on his curly tail. The wolf! What was he going to do now? No, no, relax, he was at home. Nothing could happen in here.

“Little piggy, let me in,” the wolf said.

“You can’t come in.”

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

“No, no, by the hair on my chinny chin chin.”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”

And so the wolf breathed in as much air as he could and then he blew it out. Out it came, like the wind, sweeping through the straw and making the feeble structure tumble down. When he saw little Willy’s head stick out from the straw, he growled in hunger and leaped towards him. Shrieking in fear, Willy ran, the wolf right behind him. Tears welled up in his eyes when the wolf came closer and closer, so effortlessly.

“Bobby!” Willy squealed. “Bobby!”

Bobby’s house was nearest. His brother had already heard the commotion, and he opened the door. He nearly fainted when he saw the big bad wolf closing in on Willy. The little piglet ran into his wooden house and both brothers bolted the door. Panting heavily, Willy sank on a chair.

“That was close,” he said.

“You’re safe now.”

“Little piggies, let me in,” the wolf wailed.

“No!” Bobby shouted. “This house is made of wood. You won’t be able to blow it down.”

The wolf laughed and asked one more time. “Will you let me in?”

“No!” Both brothers cried.

“Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.”

“No, no, by the hair on our chinny chin chins.”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”

Once more, the wolf inhaled deeply, and out came a storm, picking up the wood and smashing it to pieces. Bobby and Willy hurried out of the house and raced to Freddy’s brick structure.

“Freddy! Freddy!”

Their older brother opened his door and let them in. All three locked and bolted the door.

“What now?” Bobby said, gasping for air.

“He can’t get in here,” Freddy reassured him.

“He blew my house down!” Willy cried. “And mine too!” Bobby shouted.

“Because you were too lazy to build a strong house. If you had done what I did, you wouldn’t be running from the wolf.”

“Little piggy, let me in!” Came the voice from outside.

“No!”

“Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.”

“No, no, by the hair on our chinny chin chins.”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”

And the wolf inhaled and blew the air out. Wind hit the house hard and rattled the windows. It circled the dwelling with a menacing song, but nothing happened. The house remained standing. Willy and Bobby looked relieved. Freddy walked into the kitchen to get himself a glass of vegan wine.

“I could use a beer,” Bobby said.

“You’re too young for that,” Freddy snapped as he uncorked a wine bottle.

Outside, the wolf drew in air one more time, not believing that he hadn’t brought the house down. Again, he blew, with all his might. The wind roared around the house, and found its way in through the chimney, but nothing could destroy Freddy’s home.

Frustrated, the wolf walked around the house, wondering how he could get in. He was really hungry, and he fancied some meat. Those little piglets would do nicely.

Ah, there, a chimney. Content that he had found a way in, he climbed up onto the roof and looked down into the chimney. It wasn’t very deep. This would be easy. Confident, he stepped into the chimney and climbed down, holding on to metal pokes in the wall.

Inside, he piglets trembled. What now? The wolf was coming in! What were they going to do? Bobby and Willy hugged each other in fear, but Freddy walked into the kitchen and returned soon, holding something white in his hands. He positioned himself next to the chimney.

With a plop, the wolf landed in the house. He licked his lips hungrily when he saw two little piglets huddled together, shivering in fright. Ah, so easy. He made to jump, anticipating a delicious dinner, but suddenly a white face mask was pulled over his muzzle and fastened behind his ears.

Enraged, the wolf growled, struggling to get out of this thing. What the hell was this?

Freddy ran to the door and opened it. “Quick!” he yelled, “Kick him out!”

Bobby and Willy moved as one and pushed the wolf on his behind. The animal was wriggling to get out of the face mask, growling so loud that all three piglets shuddered, afraid that the face mask might break. The wolf tried to rip his fangs through the mask, but the thing was on his mouth and he snapped at thin air.

When he was in the doorway, Freddy kicked him hard on his behind, and the wolf flew down the pathway and fell face down, his nose ripping the face mask.

“Hey, these things are hard to come by, you can’t rip it,” Freddy shouted.

“It saved our lives, didn’t it?” Bobby said, wondering why he had not thought of using a face mask. If he had left this own house and tried to put it on the wolf, his wooden structure might still be standing.

The wolf howled in frustration. His stomach grumbled. He ran into the woods, hoping to get the mask off somehow and swearing to himself to leave piglets with strong houses alone.

The End of This Tail

“Thank you, Freddy!” Bobby said. “Yes, thank you, thank you!” Willy cried.

“Tomorrow I’m going to build a new house,” Bobby added. “I will make it with bricks and stone, and if you have some of that cement left, I will be happy to use it.”

“You can have it,” Freddy said.

“Me too,” Willy piped up, chewing vigorously. Freddy wondered what the little brat had scavenged from his kitchen this time. “Having a strong foundation will keep us safe. A strong house, sturdy walls, and plenty of food.”

“Face masks to keep the dangerous wolves away,” Bobby said, laughing.

“Speaking of food, what are you eating?” Freddy asked. Willy grinned guiltily and closed his mouth. “Are those my cupcakes? You little …! I made them for tomorrow!”

Willy swallowed the last piece of the cupcake and said, “Sorry …”

“You’re such a pig.”

“But I’m safe, thanks to you. Tomorrow I am going to bake you a new batch of cupcakes. Then I’m going to build a house, and after that we are going to play in the mud.”

The End